Have u ever cried because u woke from a dream? The morning after
lucidity spun spent sobbing in your bed because of what u dreamed in
sleep?
    Not that i am not "normal" on a day to day routine. But sometimes a
dream can show you utopian romances and longing one can not contain
within the confines of a single soul.
It is of the soul and souls joining i choose to dream , and speak.

IMAGINE a 2 story masterpiece , a hotel from years past.  Most everyone
was close . There were about 15 rooms . Most of the doors stayed open as
people were out in the courtyards and small shops and great rooms to
share each other's company.
    It reminds me somehow of a modern commune.  Except i remember i had
a fascination for leather straps.  at least for their smell.
   oh,   did i tell u it was the future?
           Perhaps in only 2 facets.  1. the peacefulness. the
tranquility that buzzed between our heads. [both interior and exterior]
between my ears and between my head and the housemates. we must have
been lucky , or picked through some elaborate matching process. Anything
is possible i suppose, since this story is about souls connecting.

It also seemed like the future because one of the shops in the hotel was
a shop of smells. Everyone had this innate chemistry instinct. And we
would make a designer smell for someone we cared about as a gift.   My
best male friend had surprised me once with a leather scent . He thought
i would like it and i did. Perhaps it was the act of someone mixing
chemicals in one of our bathrooms specifically for u that made it nice.
But everyone knew each other's likes and dislikes so as to put heart
into this mixing . And truly , most likable smells are likable to many.
But this is one of the things we would do in our close society. Smells
are suppose to be the earliest primal sensation when we are born. We
knew each other well enough to almost innately mix our chemicals. It was
like some form of witchery in its method with only the best of intent.

       I was most close to about 5 of the 25 who lived in the house.
There was my best male friend and his lover. A dear friend we'll call
Marie. In my dream no one had a need for names so there weren't any to my
knowledge.
And there was my lover. I can only call her perfection. Although our
ideas of perfection traditionally changes, like most things.

Get the picture?   Nice stuff , eh?

 my lover and i had that perpetual interest like new infatuation- along
with the depth of entwined character and sharing . like u imagine in
your waking dreams to be.  ....

God , am i still that idealistic? Are we all from time to time?

well, i was truly experiencing it . Dream world or not.  To be that in
love , u know what i mean?......everyone either has or craves 

[ or once
did ] .
--------------------

One day my lover concocted something. Was it a smell that possessed ?
One with spell.
Something happened , something she did that caused me to instantly
transfer all my enmeshed desire and longing for her to our friend Marie.
It had effected Marie as well.   And we were immersed in rapture. I had
no memories of my lover. Marie was the only lover i had ever known at
that point. Nothing before her existed. [now]

  My friends , including my old lover instantly  started  to try and
wean me off the drug's effect. Get things back to their natural
connections.  The way things were.
Knowing what they were doing , i demanded them to stop. How could they
deny me of my feelings. How could they take my love from me.  They tried
to explain it.  To me there was only what i knew at that moment.  After
all , we only have our own feelings and heart to know what's true for
our self. How can another tell us otherwise?
  they were explaining my feelings for my old lover.
They were giving me past smells to try to get me to wake from my spell.
   they could not convince me to trust them in their efforts.

It seems like we are always on the verge of waking from one spell or
other. Is it even possible to maintain love?  Is it just me?
Am i that fucked up?  I the only one who feels , and everyone else
working against my own efforts of effortlessness?

Is there any chance at all?